Saturday, December 8, 2007
i still tear for him // 8:19 PM
Went jp with Xiang Yi today, and bought a present for Ferdinand.
Yea, and i think my present for him is very nice (as in the idea of the present).
Then after that went to camp at Xiang Yi's house.
His mom kept complaining to his dad about him through the Internet.
Gosh, maybe i should really stop being so close with him, in case his parents checked on me to see if i'm a good girlfriend for their son. (
faints)
I don't date someone younger than me.Finally after more than a week, we got back to talking.And yet, it's still the same about me, him, and her.I've had it, but yet i really don't want to let go.Miserable. Sadness. Feverish.I've been getting sick often ever since he left.What's wrong with me?Maybe problem lies in me.I was the one who doesn't want to let go.It was me who wishes to hold on.And as i do, i still tear for him - no matter what, no matter when...I got hooked up to listening to slow and emo songs.I got hooked up to cutting my wrist.I got hooked up to do more effing stupide stuffs that hurt my body and myself.What's the point? I'm just being stupid myself, ain't i?Why? Why is he so different from my past bfs?Ha... I wish to know too.I run away from people who love me, and chose to love someone who doesn't love me.I hurt people who love me, and got hurt myself.I'm terrible. I'm so getting my retribution.I miss Gina.I miss Deno.I miss Jean.I miss Michelle.I miss so hell lots of people who misses me too.And i miss so hell lots of people who didn't even thought of missing me.Everyday, i'm gettting more paranoid.Shutting myself from anybody in the world may be a good choice.Oh, i suddenly thought of a thing.I wanted to say sorry to Samuel, for stealing photos off his girlfriend's blog.I just think the picture is nice, but my guilt now threatens me to delete the picture off my computer.I didn't want to complain, but he doesn't need me as his boyfriend since he's got loads of girlfriends and boyfriends.Feel sorry to the whole world;And feel sorry for myself.Someone, please kill me.Labels: emo-ing again
